A Barbarian, a Bard and a Paladin
by Velvet Red Bullet
Summary: Little one-shots, drabbles etc from my D&D group. Chapters and scenes in no particular order. (Most drabbles/etc are about my own character, just a heads up)
1. Have You Lost Your Mind!

**Thought I would upload my D &D drabbles and things just for fun until I can get my other fic back on track.**

 **Lilac Isadora Marple - tiefling bard (ME!)**  
 **Kell Stridex of Westrun - human paladin**  
 **Ellie Mosca - dragonborn barbarian**

* * *

The bar was crowded with hunters from the guild. Music played that heightened everyone's spirits and it kept the drink flowing. It had been a while since the guild had had a celebration like this with every member taking up the towns pub.

It had been a successful month of monster hunting for Ellie, Kell and Lilac. Their latest achievements being a black dragon and a Beholder. When they returned they had to prove their accomplishments to the others and so gave a demonstration of Lilac's new musical flame-thrower instrument. It was a dangerous display but the guild members were highly impressed.

Kell had promised to meet up with the other two later once she had sorted their funds. The bard and the barbarian drank, ate and laughed together throughout the night with Lilac promising to let Ellie have a go of her guitar after their hangovers in the morning.

As the hours went by the bar continued to get busy and Ellie was on her tenth drink but she was nowhere near drunk and Lilac was only on her fifth. The two sat huddled together and were now watching their fellow hunters making fools of themselves. Ellie nudged her companion when she spotted the head of the guild who was slumped and drooling over a bar stool but Lilac didn't turn her head.

She had her elbow leaning on the table with her head resting in her hand and eyes looking towards the bar. From the corner of her eye Ellie could see her swishing her tail from side to side and underneath the table she was tapping her foot impatiently. She knew her friends actions all too well.

Ellie followed Lilac's gaze to a half orc leaning on the bar and she recognised him straight away.

"Have you lost your damn mind?! Cazell? Really?!" Ellie whispered furiously to the tiefling.

Cazell was staring straight at them giving the best charming smile a half orc could give. He had small black eyes, leathery brown skin and hair that resembled a birds nest. The only visible thing attractive about him were his two pointed teeth and his thick muscles. She bit her lip and Ellie knew that that meant she was unsure to go for him or not but the orc sent her a wink and the tiefling was hooked.

"I'm going for another beer." she told her friend ignoring her question. Lilac slipped off her seat and walked towards the bar perfectly swaying her hips. Ellie chuckled and shook her head as she watched her go.

Lilac was a thing of beauty even with an eye patch and one and a half horns. Her hair was purple that went past her shoulders and her she skin was white as snow and dashed with pink freckles. Her tail was thin and forked at the end and her one eye looked like gold threads and sapphires. In the tavern filled with scarred, armoured hunters she stood out like a jewel among coal.

The tiefling girl was a hopeless romantic but her relationships were short. Ellie didn't take her eyes off the pair. She couldn't tell what they were saying but having watched Lilac on dates before she learned all of her tricks to get into a man's heart, but more often just into his pants.

No matter how adorable Ellie found Lilac's quest for love she thought that she was very naive, but she was ready to knock out any men she was dating if they treated her badly. The dragonborn barbarian wasn't interested in finding love like her friend, she joined the hunters guild to improve her skills and for a bit of adventure, but she wouldn't say no if the opportunity popped up.

Cazell bowed his head at Lilac, took her hand and placed a kiss on it. He leaned over and spoke to the barmen and tossed a few coins in his direction then he was given a key. He grasped her hand and lead her to the stairs as they passed Lilac looked over to Ellie and winked. She rolled her eyes and laughed into her mug of ale.

As the two climbed the stairs Kell entered the busy bar and bought herself a drink then found Ellie sitting alone.

"Where's Lilac?" she asked scanning the room for a horn in the crowd.

Ellie grabbed hold of Lilac's untouched beer and downed it before answering. "She's jumped the gun again."

Kell rolled her eyes, "Oh for Celestian's sake!"


	2. Can't Sleep

Lilac stared at the ceiling unable to sleep as the half orc beside her snored loudly. She tried ear plugs but they didn't work and none of her spells could quieten him down or block out sound. She rolled her eyes towards him and glared as he breathed heavily in her direction and fought back the idea to give him a smack.

With a growl she threw the sheets off herself then waved her hand to cast a dim light and then sat at her vanity table. She snatched her eye patch from where it lay and strapped it around the base of her horn and made sure it was secure then gathered her journal, inkwell and quill.

Opening her journal to a blank page she began to write but after a while the words weren't making sense any more. She grunted and clawed out the page and tried again. Her second attempt wasn't much better than the last and this time she furiously scribbled out the words until the quill became unusable.

Her hands grabbed her horns in frustration and she propped her head on the table in defeat and groaned sadly. Lilac's words used to flow perfectly onto the pages but since her last mission some things had changed and it was hard to make sense of it all and she felt to embarrassed to talk to her friends about it.

The orc snored again and out of annoyance she threw her journal at him and it bounced off his chest but it didn't seem to wake him. Swiftly moving from the seat she dressed herself and dispelled the light and left her room. She went to the bar area of the guild to see if Ellie was there and when Lilac didn't find her there she headed towards the barbarian's room.

She knocked lightly and when there wasn't an answer she banged louder then a moment later Ellie opened her door with a forceful swing. The dragonborn stood with her teeth barring and fist clenched ready to fight whoever woke her but her expression softened when she realized it was Lilac in front of her.

"Lilac? Is everything all right?"

"Can I come in? I can't sleep."


	3. A Work of Art

Ellie stood in an empty hallway with her back against the wall and nervously looked left to right when she heard voices approaching. A guild member was walking towards her and she tried to look like she wasn't hiding anything. The hunter smiled and nodded in greeting and Ellie returned the nod as he continued walking then disappeared around the corner.

She breathed a sigh of relief then instantly froze up again as she heard more voices getting closer. Kell poked her head around the corner followed by Lilac. "There you are!"

Her two friends headed towards her wearing curious looks. "We've been looking for you everywhere. What have you been doing?" asked Kell.

"I eh...sort of um, had an accident."

Kell raised her eyebrow and Lilac's eyes started to widened imaging the worst. "What did you do?"

Ellie took a step to the right and revealed what she had been hiding. There was a fist shaped hole in the wooden wall, a few splinters were soaked in blood and some pieces were dangling as if holding on for dear life.

"Why did you do that?!"

"I didn't mean to!" Ellie said furiously, "I just tripped and I punched the wall."

"They'll deduct this from our pay" Lilac said through clenched teeth, "Hold on, I've got an idea."

The tiefling waved her hand and a purple portal formed in front of her and she stepped inside. The portal shut then a moment later it appeared again and Lilac stepped out clutching a frame in one hand and a phial of glue in the other.

"Did you just destroy a painting?" asked Kell rolling her eyes, her friends were just as bad as each other.

"It came with my room and it was ugly, I won't miss it."

She carefully poured the glue along the wooden frame then held it up in front of the hole and adjusted it so that it was level then pressed it against the wall and pushed hard so it would stick. Lilac squinted her eyes and bit her lip then tweaked the frame until she was happy that it was straight.

"Perfect," the bard smiled at Kell, "I mean I could have just used my mending spell but I feel like this is a good embarrassing punishment for you. Do you agree Kell?"

Kell grinned and tore a piece off her scroll and scribbled down some words and stuck it in the corner of the frame. It read: First Masterpiece, Medium: Hand, Wooden wall.

"I'm sure Nodreg wouldn't mind having a fine piece of art of the wall." Kell flashed a smile and gave the dragonborn a wink. Ellie's face turned a violent shade of red as she spun on her heel and very quickly made her way to the guilds bar room.


	4. Castle

Lilac stared at her reflection, her golden eyes took in her false form of painted blood red lips, unblemished skin and rosy cheeks. She gritted her teeth as her sister combed through her hair getting rid of her curls and tucking it behind her horns.

"Griza, why are you doing this?"

Her sister set the hairbrush on the vanity table and picked up a slender, glass perfume bottle and sprayed once at both sides of Lilac's face. She could taste the odour on her tongue and tried her best not to swallow it.

"You have to look radiant for Lord Rothfuss. He plans to ask for your hand tonight so you must look exquisite and you must remember to be poise Lilac, we can't let father down."

There was a short pause before Lilac spoke up. "But I don't love him."

Griza lifted her head from what she was doing and locked eyes with Lilac in the mirror. Her face was plain and strict but she seemed to soften as she came to stand at Lilac's side and placed a hand on her shoulder as if to comfort her.

"You should keep that pretty mouth of yours shut, Lilac" said Griza her tone growing forceful, "This is what you were born for so there is no use crying about it. It's your duty to provide for our family, would you rather we have nothing? Do you want us to live like those peasants out there?"

Lilac bit down on her tongue to stop herself from snapping back. Her family were one of the richest in Brodrick and the greed ran deep in her father and sister and other members of her relations. She wondered if her sister realized just how much she sounded like their father, repeating the lies that he always told and now it seemed that she had started to believe that what he said was true.

With a heavy sigh she looked back at her reflection and realized that there was no going back.

A small smile curved on her lips and from the corner of her eye she saw Griza relax and give an encouraging grin.

"Yes, you're right Griza. You're always right."


	5. You Call Me a Bitch like its a Bad Thing

The white and pink tiefling sat alone at the bar with her head in her hand and fingers drumming on the counter. A glass of wine was put in front of her and the barman pointed at a table behind her. She raised her eyebrow curiously and glanced in the direction of where he was pointing and noticed an elf with long black hair looking her way.

From this distance she could tell that he had a heart shaped face and had a little stubble on his cheeks. He sat relaxed in his chair and was staring right at her, he wet his lips and his eyes seemed to smile now that he had her attention.

"Good luck with this one, lass."

She gave the barman a nod and brought the wine to her lips for a taste. It didn't taste bad but it wasn't her favourite.

The elf got up and took a seat beside her and leaned his elbow on the counter grinning like a school boy. "Hello there, beautiful. I thought you could use some company, I don't like seeing a lady sitting by herself."

It wasn't the worst chat up line she had ever received but she mentally rolled her eyes at him.

"Well that's awful sweet of you sir," she flashed him a smile, she spoke with a hint of sarcasm that he didn't seem to notice. "And who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?"

He gave her a dazzling smile that matched her own then introduced himself. "My name is Serpine."

Once Lilac introduced herself the conversation was carried by Serpine, he spoke a lot about himself and she only half paid attention to what he was saying. Occasionally he'd ask her a question but she kept her answers short her mood for conversation dwindling.

"Maybe we should continue this upstairs? Finish that bottle wine, eh?" he proposed, his eyebrow raised suggestively.

"No thank you" she told him plainly. The elf's charming smile vanished and his expression became hard with shock. His eyes were wide and turned dark and she noticed him clench his jaw as he processed the rejection.

He bit the inside of his cheek then leaned in closer and spoke quietly so only Lilac could hear. "Listen here doll, that wine was very expensive so the least you could do is repay the favour. Don't be an ungrateful bitch."

Lilac smiled as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and then said sweetly, "You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing."

She spun on her chair so that she faced him then flicked her finger with a flourish and cast a spell on him. He felt a tingling in his arms and legs and before he could try and fight against the spell his limbs became shorter, fur grew over his body and within seconds he had turned into a small,fat and slobbering dog.

The dog barked and growled and went to bite at Lilac's leg but she quickly scooped him up and outstretched her arms to get a good look at Serpine.

"Now you can go off and find a real bitch," she sat him back on the floor and turned to the barmen and gave an apologetic look, "Sorry about that Angus."

She gave Angus a wink and left two gold coins on the counter for him then blew a kiss and left the bar happily swishing her tail.


	6. Miss Jackson

When she came off the stage and entered the dressing room the small space was filled with vases and bouquets of red and white roses. She picked the biggest rose then plucked each petal and either tore it in half or crumbled it into a tiny ball.

She recognized the name on the card and smiled faintly as she threw it away. At least seven other bouquets were from past lovers who hadn't been able to let go of her yet. All she did was give them a little taste and they were hooked.

The door opened behind her and her band mate, Itward, entered with a smirk on his lips. "There's thirteen bouquets. Last gig we had you got twenty-three."

Lilac grinned wide in the vanity table mirror. "I don't even bother counting anymore."

Itward's expression suddenly changed as he approached her. He reached out and put his hands on her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

He spoke slowly as he carefully chose his words. "There's a trail of broken hearts behind you Lilac," his tone was low and serious, "You've got a lot on victims on your list."

Her eyelids fluttered with surprise then gave him a hard stare in the mirror. "Why are saying this to me?"

"But they all still love you, the poor idiots" he ignored her question and leaned down towards her neck. Lilac froze as she felt his breath tickle her skin, his hand trailed down from her shoulder to her arm and the other stroked the back of her neck.

"But, I guess that makes me an idiot too."

Lilac's heart beat was frantic as his lips parted. He kissed her neck, then a second time and moaned bringing Lilac out of her trance. She spun in her stool and gave him a hard push and he stepped back two steps.

"Leave me, Itward," her voice was a mere whisper and when he didn't move she swallowed and made herself more clear. "LEAVE!"

He gave her a longing look before leaving her dressing room. A few moments of silence went by before she rasped out a heart broken cry and started ripping the roses apart. She stared down at her hands and saw a mixture of her blood and dye from the petals. Faces she recognized flashed in her mind and she could only remember some of their names.

A wave of guilt drowned her and it brought on a flood of tears. It wasn't fair. They had all bowed to her, weren't they all looking for the time of their lives just like her? She didn't want to admit that what she did was wrong. Couldn't the party go for a little longer?

From the corner of her eye she spotted the little card she threw away earlier. She picked it up and read the inside again. Written in stylish hand writing was 'I love you.'

Three little words that she had abused, but the card had made her realise that they still held so much meaning. Even If she herself had forgotten the true concept of love.


	7. Seduce and Destroy

_{an: This is inspired by Bloody Creature Poster Girl by In this Moment, and the first nsfw/smutty thing I've ever attempted)_

It had been too easy. All it had took was a smile and a flutter of her lashes and he entered a game that he was destined to lose. She played the part of the princess and disguised herself with a sweet voice and a coy charm that she knew Lord Broth wouldn't be able to resist.

Her mission was to seduce and destroy. The seduction would be the war, the lust would be the battle and she would win when he surrender his love to her.

The war started with a slow dance. Her first attack was the polite kiss she left on his cheek and the gentle squeeze on his shoulder. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, his smile was large and he had a boyish grace that hid this old age.

When the soft music ended, he bowed, and she curtsied. They stared sweetly at one and other for a moment, but their gaze was broken when a young, handsome tiefling asked Lilac to dance. She flashed a smile and promised Lord Broth a second dance later in the evening, then took to the dance floor with her new partner.

She got off on his jealousy, his fiery gaze upon her as she glided across ballroom in the arms of another man. In his mind she was already his. And no one else should touch his things.

She courted him for several months and played her game in secret. Whenever they were together Lord Broth kept her by his side, showed her off like a shiny jewelled ring, his possession. He thought he was the one in control and it made Lilac smile, it gave her a rush, having him delicately wrapped around her finger. And he didn't know it.

He filled her world with diamonds, and she'd crush them. A new dress would be in her wardrobe and she'd wear it to please him, then rip it to shreds with a pair of scissors. If he loved the dress that much he'd buy her another one.

As his affection began to smother her, she knew that her war was coming to an end. Lilac discovered his desires from his whores, the ladies thirst for revenge and had been eager to spill every little secret. She gave them her word that he'd hurt and his heart would bleed.

The final seduction she planned to do on her father's monthly boys club. She dressed herself in black silk and lace and told the butler to bring Lord Broth to her room then cast invisibility on herself and waited.

There were three gentle knocks and then he entered."Lilac?"

She counted to five then snapped her fingers and appeared in front of him. Lord Broth eyes widened, the site of her left him completely speechless. He reached to stroke her cheek but she slapped his hand away and leaned on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his ear.

"I'll make you crawl and beg, you'll plead and be filled with so much want that it'll hurt you and I'll get to watch you bleed for me" she whispered harshly.

"Now, I want you to get on your knees" she told him. He let out a breathy moan and obeyed. Lord Broth stared up at her, his purple eyes swirling with desire and his lips desperate for a taste.

Lilac chuckled darkly, "Look what you've got yourself into, my Lord. You're mine now, and you're going to do everything I say, understand?"

"Yes mistress."

Lilac grinned. She put her finger on his lips then slipped it into his mouth, his tongue rolled around and he sucked hungrily. She had never felt this kind of satisfaction. She hoped his misery tasted just as good.


	8. Missing You

_{Context: The town the group come from has been destroyed and the Hunters Guild has disappeared and Lilac is trying to contact her boyfriend.}_

Lilac excused herself from her friends and retreated to the room they rented for the evening. It was the first time she had gotten some privacy in weeks. When she was alone her thoughts turned to Cazell, worried that he might be dead, she had tried contacting him but got no answer.

She closed her eyes and concentrated on the spell until she felt the warm buzz at the back of her head. "Cazell? Can you hear me? Are you alright?"

There was no response. She sat still in the silence, biting her lip, she opened her mouth and continued as if he had spoken back.

"I just wanted to say that..." she paused, searching for the right words. Lilac stared at the ceiling as if she were looking up at a heavenly being, her eyes beaming with hope. "Look, I don't want to mess things up between us, but I love you, I really, really love you, so much that it makes my heart ache."

A minute went by and he didn't reply. She felt a small connection with him, it was enough to let her know that he was still alive, and maybe he could hear her but couldn't answer back. The spell only had a few moments left, she didn't know when she'd have another chance to try and contact him.

"I miss you, Caz. I worry about you so much...I do love you."

The spell came to it's end, once again in silence, tears fell from her eyes and her body sank into the bed like an anchor falling to the seabed. Lilac had told many men in her life that she loved them, none of it had been true, but Cazell was the first who she truly fell for.

She cried again before returning to her friends, she put on her smile hiding her heavy weight of sadness. Ellie and Robin were in the middle of lunch, planning on the next course of action to help the town with a werewolf curse. Lilac was trying not to be selfish, she wanted to help this town, but each day not getting closer to Fayminster meant that there was chance that she'd never see Cazell again.


End file.
